Soapboxes and Almond Meal

I catch a lot of flack from my mainland friends and family over dietary choices and, more specifically, the dietary choices I make for my spawn. I am that parent: the one that brings carrot sticks and hummus to birthday parties, who hands out organic honey sticks for treats on the weekends, who refuses to go to fast food restaurants and who uses soy butter on bread and almond milk on cereal. According to my older sister (with whom the only shared value we hold is a refusal to get vaccinated or vaccinate our own kids) it's cruel and unusual punishment to feed young'uns organic, local, vegetarian fare without supplementing it with Mars Bars and Cheetos - in my defense, my kids aren't strangers to those concepts. They just know them as ZBars & Bearitos ;)

Am I a food snob? Absolutely. I read labels voraciously and anything with unnecessary added crap stays on the shelves. If sugar is in the first five ingredients, it stays on the shelf. If it's not organic, it usually stays on the shelf (I'm hit and miss with this one, because organic does not equal healthy and sometimes there are perfectly delicious and nutritious foods and snacks that aren't certified.)

Was I always this way? Hell no. I grew up in a large family with not a lot of money. We ate what we got and we didn't really care what was in it. It wasn't until I got older and became more conscientious about what went in my body, how my body used it, and the after-effects, that I started really paying attention to nutrition. It was overwhelming and frustrating and it took a long, long time before I felt comfortable enough to grocery shop with confidence. I don't want that for my kids - they're going to grow up eating good, healthy food and not having to worry about whether or not it's good for them. At any time, they can go into the cupboard, grab a snack, and know that not only is it tasty but it's nutritious. When the time comes for them to fly the coop, it'll be second nature for them to eat a well-balanced, creative, fun, satisfying diet.

If that's cruel, then I'm a tyrant.

What I'm not is delusional. My boys don't live in a bubble. They have friends and get an allowance and they're going to eat fast food from time to time and probably buy real junk food and enjoy it and I hope they do. It's part of growing up. But in my dominion (our house), they'll have access to alternatives. I'm not out to deprive my children: I'm trying to make them thrive. In doing so, I hope they'll make wise choices based on knowledge that they meld into a value system of their own. Kids don't get enough credit - if you present them with a theory, explain it with the facts, and leave them to it, most of the time they'll figure out the value in it (even if it does mean giving up Twinkies and KFC.)

One of the benefits of this has been that they're incredibly curious about food and cooking. My stepson Alex has recently become engrossed with baking and experimenting with different flours. There's something ridiculously endearing when your surfer boy 12 year old leaves a note asking you to pick up garbanzo bean and coconut flour. We cook as a family and everyone gets involved. (Hint: brocolli rabe is not nearly as gross tasting when you help make it as it is when your mom plops it on a plate and tells you to eat it, or else.)

Another common misconception is that I don't feed my kids meat. While I don't see anything wrong with this, it's not true, either. I'm a vegetarian. I love being a vegetarian. If my kids want to be vegetarians, that's fantastic. If they don't, that's great too. For many reasons - economical, environmental, health - I refuse to provide it every day; there's simply no reason to, with the abundance of grains, legumes, fruits and vegetables at our disposal. But when they make the request for it, I try to honor it.

There are, of course, caveats. I am a food snob, remember. ;)

1) It's got to be organic. Non-organic cattle, for example, are allowed to consume, under FDA guidelines, gelatin, fats, oil, grease, tallow, poultry and poultry by-product, rendered pork protein, and rendered horse protein. I'm sorry, but that's just gross. Organic meat, on the other hand, is free of antibiotics, added hormones, and GMO feed. In many cases (though not all), animals bred to be used in organic meats are treated more humanely. And if I'm going to spend the costly dollars for meat, I want the buck to be going to smaller operations who are trying their darndest to do it right, not big-ass factory fatties.

Now I understand, especially now, that it can be hard to buy organic meats. Meat is expensive enough already without adding the extra two-to-three smackaroos that a certified label brings. I'm not judging anyone for anything; this is just something that we do in our household and people can take it or leave it at will. =D

2) This kind of goes along with number one but if it can be bought grass-fed, do it. Grass-fed products are so much lower in fat than their grain-fed counterparts. There's a lot of nutritional talk about the subject but in a nutshell: when it's grass-fed it's lean which means it's actually great for lowering LDL levels (you know, the kind of cholesterol you don't want to have high numbers of), it provides those good fats that you want (yaaay for CLA!), is a much higher source of vitamin E, and tastes amazing! The easiest way to get grass-fed is to buy local, if you can.

3) Put back that bologna, son. Seriously, have you ever read the label for lunchmeat? There's so much crap in it. I was startled to find that even in some of those supposedly 'high-class' brands, like Boars Head, there's a ton of sugar added to a simple slice of turkey. As a general rule I don't get lunchmeat often, unless it's one of those organic brands that doesn't add anything (Applegate Farms is fantastic for that.)

4) If it doesn't taste good, I'm not paying for it. Meat is expensive. Healthy meat is even more expensive. So if we pay the cash for something that meets the other family requirements and it doesn't taste good? It's on the blacklist. Life is too short to eat nasty things, even when "they're good for you" (you hear me, wheatgrass? Because I'm looking at you.)




Pics or it didn't happen, right? Included with the hot dogs and turkey breast are two of my other nemeses, fruit juice and dairy. I love dairy but it doesn't love me - when I do indulge, I want it to be as clean as possible. And fruit juice - well, it's delicious, but have you ever watched a toddler suck back a fruit juicebox? Yeah, ever seen them twenty minutes later? Party central, dude. Thankfully a lot of juicebox companies are getting their act together and greatly reducing the sugar in their products but I'm old-fashioned and still think that fruit juice should just contain the juices from fruits. They're sweet enough as it is. For a treat we keep R.W Knudsen fruit blends in the fridge and stick to my own dad's half-n-half rule: half that glass is water, half that glass is juice.

Here's the bottom line: Everyone is going to make different choices with their kids. There's no right or wrong, there's just different. I'm not judging anyone or their eating habits, just like I don't wish to be judged. Honestly, it's a hard enough job just existing and raising a family to sweat the little details but I do think that it's important to do our best to eat well and honestly and to teach our kids to do the same. That means different things to everyone. So long as folks are trying, s'all good.

I'm going to step off my apple crate now and end with a recipe for some deeeelicious and versatile bread; you can double these measurements and make a regular loaf, you can pan fry it to make little fritter/flatbread-like creations (excellent when done in a nut oil, like walnut), or if you're like me and have problems with portion-size, you can bake them in muffin tins for mini-loaves.

Easy Peasy Almond Bread

2 cups almond flour (if you can't find it in the store, just use a food processor to blend up raw almonds to a fine meal)
4 eggs
1/4 cup yogurt (I like to use plain Greek yogurt for the added protein)
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp baking soda (or 2 tsp baking powder, if you don't have baking soda like I discovered when I went to make this tonight)

Blend all ingredients together into a nice batter. Cook as desired (in the oven at 350 until top(s) is golden brown and toothpick comes out clean, or in a frying pan/griddle on the range). Devour and enjoy!